Third video of PAINSS explains how Activity impacts on Severity and incr...

What would you do if your child had a chronic illness

My Special Educational Needs and Disabilities - written submission

I very much appreciate that you have invited the parents to write in with their lived experience. I hope in the near future you will have an open and full dialog with parents and their children. Children can and do speak eloquently of their reality and professionals grasping their understanding is of paramount importance. They should be closely listened to.

I would first like to explain how we as parents are treated. We are viewed with suspicion, and we are mercilessly gaslighted. Fabrication and Inducing Illness is being brought in across the country in education, we seem to have forgotten the cot deaths in the 1990’s, this accusing all by untrained professionals will have a massive impact on society and family life in the UK.

Mental Health is in disarray, with a lack of understanding of cause and effect. Misdiagnosis of many physical conditions and or lack of vitamins and minerals for a lot of different reasons; such as celiac disease can have a profound effect on a growing brain and body, but on average takes 13 years to get a diagnosis. We need physical cause ruled out before mental health is thought of because of the problems it causes children when misdiagnosed.

If you look at the way dyslexic children have been treated along with those who have autism, and still are. Autistic children are seen as behavioural problems/Mental Health problems and not as a different viewpoint from the norm. They are given medication that is not needed and very little support within school or society. Now they are taking that understanding of diagnosis away, so therefore they will be seen as? Disruptive normal children?

With a diagnosis come support and understanding and great things can be achieved. It is the mindset of education and Government officials that needs addressing with regards to “labels”. Giving people a “label” is understanding their needs.  Have we not learnt from Christy Brown (My Left Foot Fame), are we now just turning back time on disability?

Being profoundly dyslexic on bad days and just about able to read and write on good days, I was applauded at the lack of understanding of the needs and cognitive processes a person like me must go through to read the simple Lady Bird passages. All three of my children are dyslexic and nothing in reality has changed in nearly 40 years since I was at school. Fighting an educational system that would rather gaslight then support. Trust is gone, what authority says, preaches and does are very different things. They delegate responsibility onto others, giving no power to enable change in outcome. In other words, they talk a good walk, but cripple those that have to walk their talk.

My two eldest have been supported by me to get them to University, yet the school take the credit. No notes are taken of the extra measures I put in place, so no understanding is achieved. Both my children have had lack of understanding of the emotional trauma a school brings down on them when they were unable to keep up with their counterparts. The teachers often were frustrated with their progress but did not have the capacity to listen and act upon the information they were given; not just by me.

Ofsted do not look for the support and understanding of the curriculum with regards to children with Chronic conditions. When in chronic and unrelenting pain there is no capacity to learn, no headspace for anything other than how to breath and meditate your way through.

Physical health is not looked at as a possibility when I first came across SEND

My youngest son became very sick at the age of 8. I received no support, empathy or allowance for the fact he had multiple infections, and multiple conditions. The Educational authorities are aware of the pressure doctors are under, and yet I found both medical and educational professions fighting to delegate responsibility. Furthermore, they expected me to understand their jargon, the way they worked and what they needed from me.

All organisations are only too willing to bring my ability and hold me accountable for their failings.

I had to find out all the information myself and am used as a go between; an unpaid employee that they seemed to think they needed to give very little regard to. To find the information took me about a week of tracking down who is responsible, then I found I had to adapt all forms to fit a physical disability and not anxiety as a school refuser. I have two arch lever files of letters written to gain support from medical and educational staff. All at a time of unbelievable stress trying to juggle all the needs of others rather than concentrating on my family and my very sick child.

There needs to be a full review with an honest reflection of diversity of disability (including invisible disabilities caused by long term chronic conditions) and educational needs. Painting a true picture of the child as an individual. At the moment; it is more of one size fits all with a defernite leaning towards school nonattendance that is put down to refusal as the fault of parenting.

Forward for ME parliamentary Group, Chaired by Countess of Mar have minutes of meetings dating back from 2009 with regards to education for children such as my son with the invisible and Chronic illness Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME). Along with Jane Colby of the Tymes Trust (a former Head Mistress) they have tirelessly strived to achieve the proper and appropriate education for children with ME. The Tymes Trust has excellent information, experience and support, both need to be listened to. Yet, in my experience you can give the information, but if the Educational establishments do not want to listen it puts parents and ultimately their children in a very difficult position.

However, I have been lucky with the support of Tymes Trust, once a home tutor was put in place I found their ability and experience to work in harmony with my child has been exceptional and should be celebrated, understood and promoted as part of the gold standard of any educational system.

We should be proud of those that achieve against all obstacles, and not those that achieve through good luck, good health and fortune.