Freudian Slips the Butt of All jokes?

Today my parents arrive, mixed blessings all round and a fair amount of juggling going on. First there are the three generations to contend with, there is also Kev who finds any invasion of his space traumatic but is particularly tricky as my parents views are aired without our reality or forethought. Time for them is their own, for us it is in very short supply as Kev, who only gets a week off at Christmas (just to clarify that only a week in a whole year) it is a precious commodity.

            For me it is when families are at their worst and at their best. My dad is full of sayings that he has made up which are full of the truths of life. Many years ago he uttered one such truth that has bounced back in my mind many times since “Humans are solitary pack animals, neither happy living together or apart”. I love my dad!

            Humans love a get together but also need their individual space. I know there are a lot of communities that get along in communal huts but I bet you that they all have reflective time. Contemplation gives us perspective which can lead to empathy. But not all of us get to the empathy stage, this can be bad but it also can be very funny as most humour starts with an individual’s lack of understanding of the world outside their own little bubble.

            We all live in a bubble of our own understanding of how the world and the people in it should behave. Some people have very funny ideas indeed or at the very least quirky. It’s this quirkiness my dad taught me to play with and Kev can look at a person and very quickly ascertain their idiosyncrasies, it was one thing that attracted him to me in the first place. Now our children have also picked up the rudimentary skills of looking at personalities and mannerisms with a comic twist. My mum finds my dad and me very irritating but my husband and children are in her eyes very amusing.

            So this evening as we sit around playing cards (I hope) we will in the Alderman tradition be taking ‘Freudian slips’ twisting them a little and laughing at the outcome. With the tutts my mum will undoubtedly give me and my dad adding to the pleasure. The little sniggers and great big belly laughs will be sounding out this year and ringing in the New Year I hope.

WARNING

Always handle the ‘butt of your jokes’ with care and love and if you are the butt for a while, laugh with them and like cramp it will abate. You never know you may be able to laugh at your self and that’s not a bad thing.

Slamiming in the Ham 2011

Finally the needles have been pulled out of my eyes and the cotton wool that clogged up my brain has now been replaced with their usual fluffy clouds. I did indeed miss all the fun but I was there for the cooking of the turkey; that by all accounts tasted lovely.

This slower pace of life suits me just fine though as I feel less guilty about doing nothing in particular. The only regret truly I haveis that I haven’t been able to write, I miss writing :-( So here I sit with my boys doing their best cleaning the lounge impression while fighting, my daughter is picking what to

weare and I’m enjoying writing to you all, a perfect start to the day.

I have prepared all I can for when our guests arrive in a couple of hours when the ceremony of SLAMING IN THE HAM! will take place, I love the Christmas meals. After the turkey and all the trimmings comes the bubble and squeak on boxing day; for those of you who are not familiar with this meal, you take the cold mash from the day before (if your husband has not tried to dish them all out, Kev is very partial to mash) with the brussels and sweet chestnuts that take on a whole new taste when browned to that lovely golden crunchy brown add a fried egg making it a perfect and easy meal. I make the basis of a soup too from the turkey at the same time boil the ham leaving the next day relativly free. When I do 'slam in the ham' I only have to baste the joint in what ever recipe I fancy adapting it to my liking (for any one that is remotly interested this year it consisted of brown sugar, mutard, mango chutney and honey) adding a baked potato, salad a few friends and frolics and you have the one of Tilly Days of Christmas x

What are you up too and what is the best meal for you over this festive time

Happy Christmas

Recently I’ve been helping a friend come to terms with many events in her life the main one being the loss of her mum. We did this through a shot story I wrote changing it as she worked through the feelings and thoughts she had along the way. She had been her mother’s carer through the short illness that took her mother away bit by bit. Traumatic events that have life changing consequences that are either good or bad that need to be worked with to try to make sense of.

All through this process she had said how my words have helped, making peace in her heart. I gave her strength of mind she tells me, that the way I write puts things in a perspective that she had never thought of before. In reality it is the way she reads with that beautiful mind of hers and thinking that gives my writing its sparkle.

Through life we can become craggy and gnarled as we grow older but understanding and enlightenment can be a shining light on our minds true beauty, if we take the time to look through the differing angles. On her fortieth birthday I gave her a rock, inside of which had a beautiful array of amethyst crystals. Minds, thoughts, time, writing and reading for me all represent the beauty in that rock.

I never really had many books when I was growing up and on a trip to Shakespeare’s home I picked up a little green book that shone a perspective on my life that sheds shards of light on my thinking, it was called ‘A Shakespeare Treasury’ where sonnets 30 (Memory) and 60 (Time) sit side by side. The contents of this book were selected by Levi Fox (if you look him up on Wikipedia you will see what an extraordinary man he was) how clever of him, it is in my opinion a very well thought out approach to Shakespears work and life in general.

Somewhere in the reading of these two sonnets I mixed them up and come up with

As waves hasten to the pebbled shore

Old woes new wail my dear time’s waste.

No wonder they put me in the bottom set for everything at school, what a confuddled brain I have. However for me these words that have never been placed together held tight my belief that you should acknowledge old woes and wail a little for things that could have been but remember to make time in your memory to hold onto the now looking at from the perspective that makes you smile.

Her are the two sonnets

Memory

When to the sessions of sweet silent thought
I summon up remembrance of things past,
I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought,
And with old woes new wail my dear time's waste:
Then can I drown an eye, unused to flow,
For precious friends hid in death's dateless night,
And weep afresh love's long since cancell'd woe,
And moan the expense of many a vanish'd sight:
Then can I grieve at grievances foregone,
And heavily from woe to woe tell o'er
The sad account of fore-bemoaned moan,
Which I new pay as if not paid before.
But if the while I think on thee, dear friend,
All losses are restored and sorrows end.

Time

Like as the waves make towards the pebbled shore,
So do our minutes hasten to their end;
Each changing place with that which goes before,
In sequent toil all forwards do contend.
Nativity, once in the main of light,
Crawls to maturity, wherewith being crown'd,
Crooked elipses 'gainst his glory fight,
And Time that gave doth now his gift confound.
Time doth transfix the flourish set on youth
And delves the parallels in beauty's brow,
Feeds on the rarities of nature's truth,
And nothing stands but for his scythe to mow:
And yet to times in hope my verse shall stand,
Praising thy worth, despite his cruel hand.

So as we come to Christmas Eve when the festivities are about to kick off, or have kicked off in the wrong direction, hang onto Shakespeare’s sentiments-that is to say hold onto those moments that count, release those that cause pain then “dear friend, all losses are restored and sorrows end”

With seasonal love

Who is Father Christmas and Where do Fairies come from?

In-between ordering turkey and all the extras that go with it and doing my father Christmas stunt and I have to be honest I failed, (no not the turkey or though that may well be a failure come Christmas day depending if I’m floating my boat on Champagne, here’s hoping J) Nope it is much more serious my little boy wants a Batman Carve (and who wouldn’t?) And there is not one to be had L Well Amazon has one for £170 plus, normal price £45.

Now how do I go about telling him there is no Father Christmas and he just has mummy and she’s Pants!!!

I wrote a Children’s story that the agents thought was too sweet for the public. I however thought it was a great way of explaining how magicl people can be if a large dose of love is applied.

When I was little and my mum was tucking me up in bed, I would ask her-

“Mum, where do fairies come from?”

She would answer with a smile.

“They come from your heart Sweet Thing. When you are happy they pop out to spread a little of their magic all around us”.

“One day will I see them?”

“Perhaps you could Sweet Thing. They hide their shoes in nettles that don’t sting, and in the summer they sleep in dandelion clocks all snugly and warm, for you to make wishes upon?”

“How do I make wishes mum?”

“Blow the dandelion clocks gently Sweet Thing. Then the fairies wake up and make the seeds dance your wishes to the fairy princess.”

“Will the fairy princess make all my wishes come true?”

“Not all of them Sweet Thing, only the ones that will look after you and make your heart happy enough for you to sing.”

“Mum, do I have to blow them all?”

“Oh no! Sweet Thing, otherwise the fairies won’t have a place to sleep in.”

What happens when the dandelion clocks have all gone, and winter is here?”

“Oh, they run back to you and curl up in your heart Sweet Thing. It keeps them warm and gives you a happy magic to get through the cold and dark days of winter.”

“When will they pop out of my heart again?”

“In the light of spring sweet thing when you get full of the joys and the flowers are here to brighten up our days.”

“Do they leave my heart for good then?”

“Oh no! Sweet Thing. They don’t leave your heart for good, they just go to be free with the birds, butterflies and honey bees.”

“Why do the fairies go to be free?”

“To top up their magic Sweet Thing. When the sun shines and warms your heart right through and a smile is on your face, the sun then shines on the fairies and gives back the magic power the winter took away from them.”

“Where do they go, when they are waiting for the dandelion clocks?”

“They fly on the backs of butterflies Sweet Thing, and curl up warm with the honey bees, while they wait for the dandelion clocks to arrive.”

“Do you believe in fairies Mum?”

“Yes, I believe in fairies Sweet Thing. Every time you smile, I can see the fairies have been hard at work, spreading their magic.”

I would lay down my head and my mum would softly sing.

“Oh! My Sweet-sweet thing

How I love you so

From your fingertips

Right down to the tip of your toes

And do you suppose

The fairies know

How much I love you so?

Then I would close my eyes, with a smile on my face and dream of flying with fairies on the backs of butterflies

So we are the magic x

 As you rush around and about remember your loved ones smile and take a bit of Tilly magic with my love x

© Tina Rodwell

Flambéed figs anyone?

Well Tilly’s balls have grown to the size of shrivelled up plums! I received my very first critic. It was a fair and honest one, off someone who does not read chick lit or romance. He could take no more after one and a half chapters as the girly conversation just got too much for him. Kevin said he could see his point.

Now I intend to pump them up to the size of ripe figs and I need your help to keep them safe. I need to sew a pair of flame resistant under-garments and with the threads you pass me I know we can weave a very fine pair. How? I hear you ponder. Well by adding a picture to my followers section (at the moments I have one friend and my self following me and I find this slightly sad). If I had a few friendly smiles, cute fluffy critters and anything else you can think of I would be very grateful and fire proofed.

Writing comments or ticking boxes helps too; it lets me know what I have got right and where I’m going wrong both are equally important to being a good writer.

Hurry up and follow or the fairy gets frazzled under-garments.

Right now where did I put those matches?

Flambéed figs anyone?

Who has the Best Communication Skills

Tink, my three year old Norfolk terrier cross, had been intently looking into my eyes trying hard to tell me what was wrong. How do I know this? I just do a hundred little detailed signs that we use without thinking, shout out to me and let me know she is poorly and in pain.

Researchers and scientists say us humans are the only ones to have complicated speech and in-depth reasoning and I wonder who comes up with these ideas. That sort of lack of understanding and arrogance has led us into trouble and has stopped us from finding a multitude of things from nature. She may think a little differently that does not mean to say she is wrong and I should not listen to her.

Humans have speech because we have simply evolved that way. But we do not all use the same language. Even after many years evolving still some of us do not communicate very well, even with the power of our vocal cords. Animals are no different from us, in that some are ordinary and some are extraordinary.

If a person is bereft of human contact from birth they no longer have the ability or inclination of speech and find other ways of communicating. It does not mean they have a lesser capacity for reasoning, empathy or learning it just means they used other skills to survive. It may also mean they are very happy just the way they are. So looking on the matter from that view point, I assume speech is a learnt behaviour rather than a unique ability. Every animal on the planet communicates by sense of smell, posture, eyes, and facial expressions. Silent communicators such as the deaf have been ignored or labelled as retarded by the hearing, simply because we do not understand their voice. Is it the others fault we cannot understand their communicating rituals?

Many years ago I watched a program about a man that had spent many months interacting with dolphins. He made friends and had a close bond with a particular young one in the pod. On the day he was due to leave a storm blew up and the man became worried over the safety of this young dolphin.

Now I thought, let me get this straight, he thinks these sea mammals, whose families have lived in the sea for generations, who could communicate by radar clicks, snorts and body posture with possibly a whole spectrum of other ways of communicating and learning we are not aware of and this man assumed they didn’t know or communicate with each other about their own environment? The man was loving and caring and in his field a leading scientist, a very clever man but also very stupid.

He talked in raptures about his concern for this poor animal that could be torn to shreds on rocks in the storm and if this land mammal didn’t rescue him would be sure to perish. Many times he got hold of that young dolphins fin to lead him to safety. Eventually he listened to the dolphin who took him to his pleasure park of water currants that acted like theme park slides. The sea mammal gave the land mammal a marvellous time. Exhilarated over his experience he verbally expressed his shear delight. The dolphin no doubt bemused, swam away. This has always amused me and shown me how arrogant our naivety can be.

With foreign people we just shout at them thinking this will help or speaking very slowly distorting the words sounds that they do not recognise all in a vein hope that this will help. It has been scientifically proven that we look at people’s demeanour and facial expressions but we are not aware of it. Animals are far better at this then us so who really has more communication skills?

If we cannot understand their language how can we be sure their language is not as complex as humans? Take the whales they communicate over miles and with different pods. How do we know they are not talking about the weather or the smith pod’s children that are out of control and taking more than their fair share of plankton?

We put animals through tests of our reasoning and forget to explain why or why they should be bothered. Would we perform these tasks to aliens of higher intelligence? I am assuming they would have a higher intelligence as they got here first, but I could be wrong. It could be that they hit on a quicker way to travel sooner than us but are of the same average IQ.

Let’s face it some people in our world use a tree trunk canoe and have a full and happy life even more so than a scientist on a fully equipped power boat, possibly with a higher IQ too. If we bumped into the man in his tree trunk canoe and took our time and listen to him, we would no doubt learn a thing or two.  

I listened to Tink and took her to the vets and she has just had her second operation to remove a follicle cyst. She is feeling much happier and has just dropped a ball on my foot, her daughter looked at us both and seising the opportunity, picked up her fluffy toy and flung it in the air, I guess its playtime.

Yes Tink I'm now going to play, she wonders over to the door, 'Oh you want to go out?' she sits on the floor 'Oh a Walk?' I get a waggy tail. Walk it is then she jumps up and liks me.