Saturday, 20 November 2010

Tilly’s Goldfish Moment




I don’t bloody believe it the electrician has just turned up (without telling me) and drilled a blood great hole right next to were my computer is.

The gruff billy goat voice shouted out to his mate "it’s not here".

I was though! I have a headache coming. I grab my resolve with a vice grip and try to focus on the words floating on the page.

Do you ever have a goldfish day? You know; when you’re staring out of your world into one that you don’t understand and haven’t the time to work out properly. Knowing the information you need is staring you in the face, doesn’t help either. Computers are simply complex and as stupid as stupid does.

You see I brought a lap top that I could put in my nice new kitchen so I could sip coffee, sharing files with my office, networking to my hearts content (what ever networking is, its hiding from me) while I beaver away on my next novel.

I decide to start lunch and leave them men fishing for those wires that seem to need more holes that Swiss cheese.

A wholesome meal for my three children who are playing/fighting, watching telly or causing havoc in general. Questions come firing through of what's cooking can we eat yet! The sound of ravenous children eating is just so satisfying and for five minutes peace I take my coffee back to the office.

Oh Lord, their drilling again. One shouts out ‘it’s beautiful’ alas they were not talking about me but the hole they have just made (a pity its in the wrong place again and missed the allusive wires by ‘a gnats dick’ apparently). Another hole is made and thank god he’s got it (hold that thought, what ever it may be, it’s funnier that the reality) as I hear wire being pulled through my walls, I just think of the dust and debris that I was sure I had finished with and yes, I had just finished hoovering, as they arrived. Now where was I, oh yes, trying to capture my Beautiful butterfly?

You see I love my butterfly, it had taken hours of hard intensive labour (all with a glass of wine) to get it how I wanted last night. I put my pens away and had saved it and locked it away deep within my files for safety. I was very proud of my self; as I had remembered to put it in my ‘shared files’ so that I could release it on my lap-top to finish my book cover later in my kitchen. So when I had a few minutes to spare I could go to my wonderful new gizmo to let my beauty free to fly around my work, only to find it gone. I raced upstairs my heart pounding with the loss. I sat in-front of the strange world of techno gadgetry that holds the key to the future, apparently. But no butterfly could I find.

I sat there like a goldfish; looking out of my world into one that promised so much but took more than your sanity to achieve. I tried very hard to think what I had done to loose my precious winged flight of fancy. I began to swim endlessly in the same circles, looking out of my bowl opening and shutting my mouth, not able to speak. I must have put it somewhere, surely it must be there! Possibilities swam around my head and slowly I metamorphosis into a Paraná. So angry and despondent; in desperation I rang a friend, who like a dolphin was intelligent and calm. So there we sat the Dolphin and me as she explained the old system and new one spoke a slightly different language and could not communicate well. The Paraná in me subsided and eventually my humanity came back and there on the screen my butterfly appeared.

Later that evening I happily swam in a pleasant bowl of wine, looking at my prized catch of the day, as it gently fluttered through my thoughts and landed on my face as a smile.

So when you feel like a fish out of water come join me in my goldfish bowl and watch the flights of fancy flutter by.



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