Showing posts with label writting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writting. Show all posts

Sunday, 4 December 2011

Flambéed figs anyone?


Well Tilly’s balls have grown to the size of shrivelled up plums! I received my very first critic. It was a fair and honest one, off someone who does not read chick lit or romance. He could take no more after one and a half chapters as the girly conversation just got too much for him. Kevin said he could see his point.


Now I intend to pump them up to the size of ripe figs and I need your help to keep them safe. I need to sew a pair of flame resistant under-garments and with the threads you pass me I know we can weave a very fine pair. How? I hear you ponder. Well by adding a picture to my followers section (at the moments I have one friend and my self following me and I find this slightly sad). If I had a few friendly smiles, cute fluffy critters and anything else you can think of I would be very grateful and fire proofed.

Writing comments or ticking boxes helps too; it lets me know what I have got right and where I’m going wrong both are equally important to being a good writer.

Hurry up and follow or the fairy gets frazzled under-garments.

Right now where did I put those matches?

Flambéed figs anyone?

Saturday, 19 November 2011

And Finally
Tilly has grown a Pair of Male Appendages!
It’s just a pity they are the size of raisins




Just think little fairy with small balls trying ever so hard to grow a bigger set! It is so wrong on so many levels but you have to admit it makes you smile and gets the point across. You have to prepare yourself for the world of writing.

Everyone has a view on what they read and the beauty of the written word is in the eye of the reader I guess. But when you have spent hours slaving away compiling a story or any piece of written work, you need someone who is going to take just as much effort giving you feedback.

My friends enjoy reading my work and so are bias. I have to say I like writing for them and would hate to turn that relationship into a professional one but I do learn from their reactions and their thoughts. None of them are trained in the field of critiquing and like everything else it has to be a professional art form to be constructive to the writer.

I had researched to find someone that was not going to rip me off and whom I could trust the opinion of but all they came back to me with was a couple of typo’s and your work is very nice! My fairy don’t do NICE what can anyone do with a word like nice.

My poor little scrotums were sucked up hiding and quivering. Was my work so bland nothing could help it improve! Well I started again and from small beginnings I have grown them into the size of raisins. This week I sent off my work to two competitions, now I have to inflate them to the size of plums and send my novels away.

Stephen king in his book ‘On Writing’ said something on the lines of ‘grow a pair of bollocks’ those five words have stayed with me and I have chanted them to my self all this year, ‘write and grow a pair and send your work out’. After all a writer needs to be read! Hence this blog and three nearly completed novels and one ready to send. More inflating needed I feel.

It has worked well so will be chanting all of next year too and I'm aiming for them to be the size of watermelons by the end of 2012.


Saturday, 15 October 2011

Tilly Has no Plums! and Must Grow a Pair.

I was walking the dogs yesterday and was thinking about the covering letter I was going to write when I got back. I thought really hard about it and then I started to smile; it was going to be a very short letter.

            You see I’m a mother of three and I love to read (when given the chance) and a huge compulsion to write. But that’s not really relevant. I have helped in the local schools and do the accounts for my husband’s small business, so credentials are non existent to mildly acceptable.

            Writing experience is limited as I can’t afford good writing courses and every time I organise to go to a writing event, I have to cancel for one of life’s little spanners that are thrown carelessly in the cogs of my life and wonder if life is trying to tell me something. I’m also dyslexic so education was always a problem and I have nothing to brag about on that front either.

            Social networking they say is good as it shows you have a following and a support network but as only my best friend and I follow my blog, I can’t mention that either (it makes me laugh though). I must try and follow more people but I do feel a little like a stalker. Not sure why, maybe it’s lack of grasping or understanding what social means? Though I like to think it’s because I’m polite; it sounds better anyhow.

            So with a smile and a spring in my step I once again talked my self out of writing to an agent and wrote this blog instead. No plums you see, only shrivelled up prunes. Must grow a pair though and get on with sending my novels away.

Sunday, 7 August 2011

How do I Write?


So how do I write and where do my ideas come from? My friends often ask me and I have to admit I like it too when writers tell you their little ways. I tend to shy away from this question, preferring not to think about it too much and possibly acutely embarrassed by the reality of how I set about things.  When I had read ‘Stephen King’s ‘On Writing’ He explained how you need to grow a set of male appendages (which is rather difficult I must say and very painful!) I decided to stop hiding, bare all and man up to the consequences…… so here goes!

 I write while I do practically everything else. I have pieces of paper scattered about the house with started thoughts and sentences. Hoping that maybe at some point through the day I will get time to write them up, getting more and more frustrated as the day goes on. Every time I sit down at my laptop a more important issue needs to be addressed, this can be anything from needing to fetch a broken disc cutter, the accounts or administering love, care and attention to a grazed knee.

            Yesterday was a bad day for writing but a good day for thoughts, so this morning I am determined to write about my three sentences written yesterday and one written earlier in the year they were: -

            Like a pack of cards the washing fell.

            My life is like running a constant marathon.

            I catch my thoughts in a butterfly net, it’s just a pity my net had a whole in it.

            As a child I had once tried to climb into a sheet on the washing line, thinking I could get an idea of how it must feel to sit on a cloud (when I wrote that sentence down I knew there was a story there but as yet the idea is still only a seed). 

Now for the fun part, trying to weave a story around those thoughts and including the sentences.  

It was six in the morning and the house was quiet, still and anticipation hit the air. The laptop choked into action and started the weekly scan process that would take more of those precious moments of silence.

            You see I had caught the most beautiful purple butterfly in my net and wanted to save its vision deep within my files to explore its true uniqueness. As it crept to the gaping tear in my net to freedom, my anticipation quickly turned to frustration. The mask like pattern on its wings held my fascination. I tried to hold on to this precious fragile creature but too afraid of crumpling those paper thin wings, released my grasp a little, it hung to the outer edge a while, flapping it wings, showing me its true beauty. Hoping to hold on to its vision my eyes held every movement, colour, reason and thought. It persistently sought its freedom of free flight, through and out of the open window it glided. This masked veil of beauty caught the breeze and flew out of vision and although not forgotten, would never be remembered as it was.

            Saddened at the loss I took my laptop with me as I answered a child’s cry of ‘Mummy where are you?’ which meant the starting pistol on my days marathon had started. As he climbed into my bed snuggling up for a morning story I put my laptop on the ironing board.

            With a trail of impatience my daughter came in and attempted to find her favourite top amongst the neatly stacked ironing pile, hidden in the corner of my bedroom. As she took the red t-shirt and before I would run and catch it, it all came crashing down like pack of cards. ‘Oh my days’ she exclaimed turning to smile at me as bright as the morning sun. The acceptance washed over me albeit tinged with a little resentment, as we picked the washing up and as neatly as possible stacked them up again.

            I go back to my laptop and tick the relevant options on my little dog icon that protects my computer from harm and eats the spam. I jump on the bed and we read a story my little son and me. I then explain I have some work to do so he must run along and play for a while.

            Take a deep breath of calming influence and start to type catching the essence of what I had seen earlier. Like little baby chicks they call their hunger and I, like the house martin outside my window fly to their needs. The cupboards are bare so to the shops I run at a steady constant pace I shop and bring home my booty as they swoon and swoop eating with delight and soon the bags are empty, their stomachs full and contentment spreads over them as a blanket on a sleeping baby.

            To the ironing board I rush to and tap the fading memory. I look up I catch a glimpse of that dancing butterfly with joyous relish I join in its frolics in the beams of sun until the phone calls for my attention.



THE END



That was as far as I got. Now I didn’t get around to the climbing into the sheet on the washing line as a child and the piece is incomplete, as it’s the first draft and there may be typos and allsorts that need ironing out but that was the point I gues?


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