Freudian Slips the Butt of All jokes?

Today my parents arrive, mixed blessings all round and a fair amount of juggling going on. First there are the three generations to contend with, there is also Kev who finds any invasion of his space traumatic but is particularly tricky as my parents views are aired without our reality or forethought. Time for them is their own, for us it is in very short supply as Kev, who only gets a week off at Christmas (just to clarify that only a week in a whole year) it is a precious commodity.

            For me it is when families are at their worst and at their best. My dad is full of sayings that he has made up which are full of the truths of life. Many years ago he uttered one such truth that has bounced back in my mind many times since “Humans are solitary pack animals, neither happy living together or apart”. I love my dad!

            Humans love a get together but also need their individual space. I know there are a lot of communities that get along in communal huts but I bet you that they all have reflective time. Contemplation gives us perspective which can lead to empathy. But not all of us get to the empathy stage, this can be bad but it also can be very funny as most humour starts with an individual’s lack of understanding of the world outside their own little bubble.

            We all live in a bubble of our own understanding of how the world and the people in it should behave. Some people have very funny ideas indeed or at the very least quirky. It’s this quirkiness my dad taught me to play with and Kev can look at a person and very quickly ascertain their idiosyncrasies, it was one thing that attracted him to me in the first place. Now our children have also picked up the rudimentary skills of looking at personalities and mannerisms with a comic twist. My mum finds my dad and me very irritating but my husband and children are in her eyes very amusing.

            So this evening as we sit around playing cards (I hope) we will in the Alderman tradition be taking ‘Freudian slips’ twisting them a little and laughing at the outcome. With the tutts my mum will undoubtedly give me and my dad adding to the pleasure. The little sniggers and great big belly laughs will be sounding out this year and ringing in the New Year I hope.

WARNING

Always handle the ‘butt of your jokes’ with care and love and if you are the butt for a while, laugh with them and like cramp it will abate. You never know you may be able to laugh at your self and that’s not a bad thing.

Slamiming in the Ham 2011

Finally the needles have been pulled out of my eyes and the cotton wool that clogged up my brain has now been replaced with their usual fluffy clouds. I did indeed miss all the fun but I was there for the cooking of the turkey; that by all accounts tasted lovely.

This slower pace of life suits me just fine though as I feel less guilty about doing nothing in particular. The only regret truly I haveis that I haven’t been able to write, I miss writing :-( So here I sit with my boys doing their best cleaning the lounge impression while fighting, my daughter is picking what to

weare and I’m enjoying writing to you all, a perfect start to the day.

I have prepared all I can for when our guests arrive in a couple of hours when the ceremony of SLAMING IN THE HAM! will take place, I love the Christmas meals. After the turkey and all the trimmings comes the bubble and squeak on boxing day; for those of you who are not familiar with this meal, you take the cold mash from the day before (if your husband has not tried to dish them all out, Kev is very partial to mash) with the brussels and sweet chestnuts that take on a whole new taste when browned to that lovely golden crunchy brown add a fried egg making it a perfect and easy meal. I make the basis of a soup too from the turkey at the same time boil the ham leaving the next day relativly free. When I do 'slam in the ham' I only have to baste the joint in what ever recipe I fancy adapting it to my liking (for any one that is remotly interested this year it consisted of brown sugar, mutard, mango chutney and honey) adding a baked potato, salad a few friends and frolics and you have the one of Tilly Days of Christmas x

What are you up too and what is the best meal for you over this festive time

Happy Christmas

Recently I’ve been helping a friend come to terms with many events in her life the main one being the loss of her mum. We did this through a shot story I wrote changing it as she worked through the feelings and thoughts she had along the way. She had been her mother’s carer through the short illness that took her mother away bit by bit. Traumatic events that have life changing consequences that are either good or bad that need to be worked with to try to make sense of.

All through this process she had said how my words have helped, making peace in her heart. I gave her strength of mind she tells me, that the way I write puts things in a perspective that she had never thought of before. In reality it is the way she reads with that beautiful mind of hers and thinking that gives my writing its sparkle.

Through life we can become craggy and gnarled as we grow older but understanding and enlightenment can be a shining light on our minds true beauty, if we take the time to look through the differing angles. On her fortieth birthday I gave her a rock, inside of which had a beautiful array of amethyst crystals. Minds, thoughts, time, writing and reading for me all represent the beauty in that rock.

I never really had many books when I was growing up and on a trip to Shakespeare’s home I picked up a little green book that shone a perspective on my life that sheds shards of light on my thinking, it was called ‘A Shakespeare Treasury’ where sonnets 30 (Memory) and 60 (Time) sit side by side. The contents of this book were selected by Levi Fox (if you look him up on Wikipedia you will see what an extraordinary man he was) how clever of him, it is in my opinion a very well thought out approach to Shakespears work and life in general.

Somewhere in the reading of these two sonnets I mixed them up and come up with

As waves hasten to the pebbled shore

Old woes new wail my dear time’s waste.

No wonder they put me in the bottom set for everything at school, what a confuddled brain I have. However for me these words that have never been placed together held tight my belief that you should acknowledge old woes and wail a little for things that could have been but remember to make time in your memory to hold onto the now looking at from the perspective that makes you smile.

Her are the two sonnets

Memory

When to the sessions of sweet silent thought
I summon up remembrance of things past,
I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought,
And with old woes new wail my dear time's waste:
Then can I drown an eye, unused to flow,
For precious friends hid in death's dateless night,
And weep afresh love's long since cancell'd woe,
And moan the expense of many a vanish'd sight:
Then can I grieve at grievances foregone,
And heavily from woe to woe tell o'er
The sad account of fore-bemoaned moan,
Which I new pay as if not paid before.
But if the while I think on thee, dear friend,
All losses are restored and sorrows end.

Time

Like as the waves make towards the pebbled shore,
So do our minutes hasten to their end;
Each changing place with that which goes before,
In sequent toil all forwards do contend.
Nativity, once in the main of light,
Crawls to maturity, wherewith being crown'd,
Crooked elipses 'gainst his glory fight,
And Time that gave doth now his gift confound.
Time doth transfix the flourish set on youth
And delves the parallels in beauty's brow,
Feeds on the rarities of nature's truth,
And nothing stands but for his scythe to mow:
And yet to times in hope my verse shall stand,
Praising thy worth, despite his cruel hand.

So as we come to Christmas Eve when the festivities are about to kick off, or have kicked off in the wrong direction, hang onto Shakespeare’s sentiments-that is to say hold onto those moments that count, release those that cause pain then “dear friend, all losses are restored and sorrows end”

With seasonal love

Who is Father Christmas and Where do Fairies come from?

In-between ordering turkey and all the extras that go with it and doing my father Christmas stunt and I have to be honest I failed, (no not the turkey or though that may well be a failure come Christmas day depending if I’m floating my boat on Champagne, here’s hoping J) Nope it is much more serious my little boy wants a Batman Carve (and who wouldn’t?) And there is not one to be had L Well Amazon has one for £170 plus, normal price £45.

Now how do I go about telling him there is no Father Christmas and he just has mummy and she’s Pants!!!

I wrote a Children’s story that the agents thought was too sweet for the public. I however thought it was a great way of explaining how magicl people can be if a large dose of love is applied.

When I was little and my mum was tucking me up in bed, I would ask her-

“Mum, where do fairies come from?”

She would answer with a smile.

“They come from your heart Sweet Thing. When you are happy they pop out to spread a little of their magic all around us”.

“One day will I see them?”

“Perhaps you could Sweet Thing. They hide their shoes in nettles that don’t sting, and in the summer they sleep in dandelion clocks all snugly and warm, for you to make wishes upon?”

“How do I make wishes mum?”

“Blow the dandelion clocks gently Sweet Thing. Then the fairies wake up and make the seeds dance your wishes to the fairy princess.”

“Will the fairy princess make all my wishes come true?”

“Not all of them Sweet Thing, only the ones that will look after you and make your heart happy enough for you to sing.”

“Mum, do I have to blow them all?”

“Oh no! Sweet Thing, otherwise the fairies won’t have a place to sleep in.”

What happens when the dandelion clocks have all gone, and winter is here?”

“Oh, they run back to you and curl up in your heart Sweet Thing. It keeps them warm and gives you a happy magic to get through the cold and dark days of winter.”

“When will they pop out of my heart again?”

“In the light of spring sweet thing when you get full of the joys and the flowers are here to brighten up our days.”

“Do they leave my heart for good then?”

“Oh no! Sweet Thing. They don’t leave your heart for good, they just go to be free with the birds, butterflies and honey bees.”

“Why do the fairies go to be free?”

“To top up their magic Sweet Thing. When the sun shines and warms your heart right through and a smile is on your face, the sun then shines on the fairies and gives back the magic power the winter took away from them.”

“Where do they go, when they are waiting for the dandelion clocks?”

“They fly on the backs of butterflies Sweet Thing, and curl up warm with the honey bees, while they wait for the dandelion clocks to arrive.”

“Do you believe in fairies Mum?”

“Yes, I believe in fairies Sweet Thing. Every time you smile, I can see the fairies have been hard at work, spreading their magic.”

I would lay down my head and my mum would softly sing.

“Oh! My Sweet-sweet thing

How I love you so

From your fingertips

Right down to the tip of your toes

And do you suppose

The fairies know

How much I love you so?

Then I would close my eyes, with a smile on my face and dream of flying with fairies on the backs of butterflies

So we are the magic x

 As you rush around and about remember your loved ones smile and take a bit of Tilly magic with my love x

© Tina Rodwell

Boxing Day

Starts with making i.d cards with Angus, sorting the marble run out and white water rafting!!!!

Soon we will be having a breakfast of left over’s, which is one of my all time favourites. With the Brussels mixed with Horse-Chestnuts and bacon and normally left over mash which we call bubble and squeak, not sure why, but they ate all the mashL. The Brussels must be the bubbles as they look like green bubbles so we will be squeackless at brunch. If I can justify opening the bubbly wine that I have put by, will be sipping that while listening to James Blunt while I cook. This is my type of heaven.

This is enhanced by firstly writing to you all and then I will be putting the finishing touches to Episode seven of Fluffy Slippers and Pom Poms, which I promise I will put on as soon as I’ve done. This afternoon we will go for a walk (if I can drag them out) and this evening I hope to start the drawing of my balloons. How can such simple things give so much pleasure?

Before Christmas day we shop until we drop, worry endlessly that we have enough food and drink and when it’s all over we sit back and the best pleasure we have had is time; time to breathe and just look at the world around us. Then we are told why did we stress so much? Oh I could get on a soap box about this one but why spoil the mood?

Hope you are getting a few minutes peace to just enjoy breathing x  

When Will the Slow flying Robin Take off?

A couple of years ago I wrote a little round robin and that year Christmas crept up with it’s fluffy socks of cosy weather, this year it’s hit us with its cold hammer! Because of this Kev has been off work and all the best plans have gone south for the winter’s duration. My round robins have always had issues taking off but this year the poor thing has had its wings clipped.

This one has been hard to sit down and write for many reasons, one of them being that I feel as if the year is about to start; my time clock is way back in May! The summer I spent in a ditch trying to find the end of a non existing pipe; so perhaps that’s why I still think it was May. I know that there are many people that wish Christmas would quietly pass them bye too and that’s not because they are humbugs but for real issues they are dealing with or life changes they are not ready for. If it helps my heart and thoughts go out to you and I hope by reading this you don’t feel so alone x

Life carries you on a tide which is relentless and you’re lucky if you can keep your head above water, breath deeply and learn to do the back stroke! I have been trying to take my own advice. You see when Kev’s off  he makes a list of jobs that need to be done and anything I have to do (wrapping presents taking them round, writing my little round Robin) has to take it’s turn on his list. The problem is every time I creep up to the top of the list he thinks of something else more important and puts it up to the top. No point in arguing, or trying to reason about it he is a mere man and would never understand my universe; though his revolves around it and he thinks it is rather beautiful place, it’s just a myth and has no reality about it, just romance. So I breathe deeply and try to float.

Floating means: -

Closing your mind to things you just can’t change, accepting and moving on at your own pace. Then and only when you can let your mind open to the world around you look around to see what you can change to make your world a little easier.

So here I sit at my computer writing into the ether, floating with the waft of Frankincense in unreality. This unreality that will bring fun and frolics and much needed laughter in a house that is much lived in and chaotic with shouts of Mum, where’s my, what’s happened to! How do you do……? and can you fix……..? and who knows I may just be able to sit down for five minutes without worrying which job I should be doing. Yea right!!!

Oh they have all left and the house is free to be cleaned. Duster at the ready me and my Flight of Fancy must fly. I’ll be back! Soon I hope x

May you breathe deeply with love this Christmas

As I sit to write the Christmas Cards trying not to think of all the other jobs I would rather be or should be doing, I do try to relax and enjoy the effort as best I can. Everyone has differing views on whether Christmas cards are worth it or not, with most of us agreeing it is a thankless job. Though we like to hang them around our house for the tradition and the comfort of what they represent; a good will greeting.

It’s no good I’m agitated and stressed; as being dyslexic I find it hard enough to remember names without then trying to remember how to spell them. I mix some sweet almond oil (this stops the pure essential oils from burning the skin) and put three drops of lavender and three of Frankincense then decide I need a forth drop of that very Christmassy oil.

Aromatherapy has been around as a healing art for over two thousand years. It is the use of fragrant parts of aromatic plants to improve your health and general well being. As most of today’s medicines have derived from nature and perfumes galore around us, with high prices paid for the most exotic. With trained noses that mix the combinations held in high regard by perfume houses.  Lots of research goes into the advertising and manufacture of these aromas that make us feel better and fill our houses to make us feel good. So I defy anyone to argue it is not important to us.

The aroma of Satsuma, orange with cloves (my kids hate this one but I love it), ginger, mulled wine, egg nog and brandy that I soak my Christmas cake in (did I say in? I meant with). These smells will take me through my history; giving a sense of occasion and sheer indulgence. These fragrances will take their part in getting me ready and carry me through the furore of the festive season.

Tradition goes a long way in making us feel continuity and stability in our ever changing lifestyles. Our senses take a battering this time of year; the touch of the wicked cold wind that we are experiencing in most parts of England this year, makes our eyes and skin smart, our ears tune into the Christmas chimes of the latest old release but its our sense of smell that is awakened the most, at this time of year.

So what is Frankincense? Well it comes from a small tree called Boswellia that can be found in Yemen, Oman but the highest quality comes from North Africa. They slash the tree bark and the resin is steam distilled into oil of a pale yellow colour. Frankincense has a soft aroma, with a hint of balsamic, essence of lemon and a camphorous waft at the end. Burned as an offering to the gods for many cultures, it is believed to heighten spirituality and still is an essential part of many religions today. As I take another lung full (I kid you not) I can see why this is.

Though it has more to offer than its luxurious relaxing aroma, as it is used in expensive perfumes to give a uplifting background note, can be mixed as a antiseptic, anti-inflammatory, antifungal, astringent, a sedative, clears lung congestion, decreases gas and helps with indigestion. It has been observed that this timeless fragrance does deepen breathing, aids relaxation causing the lungs to expand, science backs this up as molecules of trahydrocannabinole, a psychoactive compound are present within the oil.

So I find it difficult to understand why there is so much controversy and the reluctance to embrace these old and trusted ways. But without proper research that’s all they are ‘trusted ways’. In the past it has been more important for doctors to give medical care (treat the body) we now know that the mind controls the body’s ability to recover. More and more hospitals are researching into holistic therapies and finding surprising results when used in conjunction with the more orthodox medical treatments. Why should one way be the only way to cure us? We are made up of many components, compounds and emotions after all. This complexity makes it hard to determine with any certainty, what effect medicine or oils have on us. I fear the research will be endless as there is always a cause and effect in everything we do.

Though one thing is sure, as I breathe in this combination of Frankincense and Lavender it makes me smile and I face the pile of cards not with dread any longer but with the Christmas sprit that is my tradition. That tradition is one of hope, that as humans we will find the ability to walk on this earth in harmony and peace. Until then, what ever you believe or tradition you have, I hope you have love in your heart and a smile or two each day x

P.S

Finished the cards and was just about to give them to my husband to post ,when some fell into the sink of oily water so will have to write out some more. Now off to find the Frankincense and Lavender. It’s the Season to be Jolly la la la , Ella off school with the flu and has a strong aroma of Frankincense that is so strong it made her eyes water. Give me Some Figgy Pudding. Angus was in his school play as a fox, though I could not see much, he looked soo cute and so did the rest of the cast, it made me cry (no surprise there!). The Holly and the Ivy and the family are getting fed up with my renditions of all the Christmas songs that I only know a few words to and sing badly out of tune. The Rodwells are in for a good time, I think he he he

Have fun