Thursday, 3 February 2011

The Battle of the Coat Hangers and Odd Socks




The fight between Clothes Hangers and Odd Socks Broke out this Morning

Yet Another Flight of Fancy


 by Tilly Moments for you to smile at J



The battle of the coat hangers, still persist in our house. I have come up with several cunning plans to draw up a cease-fire but the children, clothes hangers and odd socks always carry on the assault. Angus has now taken his big brothers habit of shoving socks down, behind and sometimes into cushions, behind chairs and in DVD cases…. mine is not to reason why, just do or die trying to pair up socks.

            For anyone who lives with more than one person in their house this is a constant battle – odd socks and coat hangers. In the time in which it takes me to wash, dry and sometimes iron the clothes I have to put the empty clothes hangers somewhere! But no matter how organised I try to be or which place I put them in, they escape or are released.

            Angus plays with them and they can become anything from Captain Hooks hook to a big bazooka that gives him full control over all he surveys, apart from me much to his bitter disappointment. He can be very inventive – after watching “Spy Kids” he set a trap for his sister. I fell over it in spectacular fashion that he would’ve been very proud of, but he was at school at the time. Health and safety in the home would say I should have a serious talk with him, but it was so inventive and impressive I hate to quash his talent. At least I found the missing cotton I got out to do a running mend, now the cotton reel is empty!

            The older ones create a pile in different places, which changes day to day hence the disarray. I try to gather them up the best I can, near the ironing board and laundry basket preferably, and often find an odd sock or two hanging desperately to the hook.

            Ella with her ordered thinking decided we had too many clothes hangers and odd socks so she started to throwing them out. When I pointed out that was due to the pile of washing (which nearly reaches the ceiling) not being beaten into submission yet, so were eventually going to need the hangers and the odd socks will eventually meet their partners! She was free to sort the pile out, then there would be no clothes hangers to annoy her. With this she turned on her disgruntled heal and stormed off. I stared after her, as most of the clothes were hers!

            Going on strike or working to rule is hard work! But short of constantly shouting and being in an agitated state to get my family helping with the daily chores, I find I have no option. My theory is – that the more you do the less they appreciate what it takes and think less of you too. I’m working to rule with some things and on strike with other motherly duties, which doesn’t bode well for the washing pile.

            When they needed their sports kit or their favourite thing to wear, they attack the pile with the ferocity of a mole, and wear it crumpled “see look it’s fine, what is all the fuss about” bemused I look on and do you know I’m really not sure why it does matter. Somehow it’s the way I show my love, care and an outward respect of self. Nothing smells more homely than the smell of freshly ironed washing and nothing looks more cared for than crease free clothes, giving a confidence to the wearer.

            As I set the ironing board up, I ponder on what must happen when I turn my back. I know I left a nice neat pile of hangers there, and the odd socks all place together waiting patiently for their partners to find them. However when I came back  the odd socks and the coat hangers are intermingled as though a full-blown battle had ensued and the debris a strewn all over my bedroom, maybe a fairy battle? Now that would be grand. I smile to myself, perhaps there is a story there, and start to write in my head as I iron.

            The children think fairies do the washing anyhow, after all no human in their right mind puts any effort into such a mundane silliness as ironing clothes, and pairing socks? You open a draw and there are the clothes all ready for you – right? Well children and men think this. Lets face it women have to oversee the chores because men are just incapable and certainly not made for the job of nurturing or teaching, a luxury of not shouting to get things done is all theirs.

            A loud booming voice broke off my sexist thoughts and made me jump, as I didn’t recognise it. There it went again; it came from a fluffy chin that had the hint of manhood about it. As I marvelled at this sprouting wishful beard, that had so many differing colour in it that deep call came again. Low and behold it was connected to that colourful chin. I realised it was my son’s chin and his voice. How did that happen? That ever-deepening boom had replaced the teenage trill of yesterday, and I marvelled at nature. Apparently he was looking for his favourite socks but any pair would do he said. ‘I’m on strike, I’m not doing demand service today’ I reminded him, still transfixed by the multi coloured beginnings of a goatee. He, disgruntled turned on his heal and left leaving the battlefield for me.

            When I get back from taking the children to school, I put in the second load of washing for the day, pick up the scattered hangers and unruly odd socks and being to think of my flight of fancy and her idea of writing. In-between loading, unloading folding sorting the washing I write my four novels, blog and short stories. I finish just in time to prepare the evening meal, and ready to pick up the children who will come home famished and needing to be fed. I stand there taking a breather and wonder why I never get anything finished.

            We all clamber out of the car and then the race is on, can I cook the meal before they empty the contents of the cupboards? To stave of the assault of carefully planed fare I had lined up for the week, I ask them all to go and get the washing in. Irritated teenagers followed by a buoyant and mischievous seven year old, I sigh at the struggle. All sorts of hollers and yells come from the garden, which I close my eyes and ears to, though I do notice my youngest son’s foot flying in the air around my whirly gig washing line. I try not to focus on how they are folding the washing and how many extra creases have been put into the clothes, which will take me twice as long to iron.

            My daughter comes in and disappears, I sigh, but soon she reappears and helps me in the kitchen. My little one gets the drinks and by the time the meal is on the plates, my husband is home and putting the them on the table. It’s like the Walton’s on the old TV show, happy, helpful and very respectful and I’m truly humbled and take it all in, case it never happens again.

            As I run the youngest bath, I try to put the clothes away and iron them while he plays contented, and this evening I brace myself for the fight. There on my bed are neat piles of carefully folded clothes that need very little ironing and inwardly I bloom. Axl at least has appreciated the struggle to have an ordered home. The clothes hangers neatly placed in their specially designed box and paired socks all in a neat row – my daughters ordered mind has wrestled them into submission. I feel valued and appreciation spring to my eyes in water droplets of joy. I know the same struggle will continue tomorrow children, clothes hangers and socks being what they are. Perhaps they are just tiny steps in my shoes but at least they took some time to walk with me in them.

A clothes hook was patented in 1869 by O.A. North of New Britain, Connecticut but it was Albert J Parkhouse in 1903, after co workers complained of not having enough coat hooks who bent a piece of wire into the shape we recognise today. This is the fact that I find so amusing though, he worked for Timberlake wire and Novelty Company, does this mean the humble clothes hanger is a novelty?

            Ever since the struggle with this particular not so novel novelty, has and forever will rage and enrage. In conclusion then, men’s inventions may solve a problem but inevitably create a different difficulty – mostly it has to be said for women.












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